11 Nga Momo Whakapahaha Pohehe

“Ka taea e te tino ripeneta me te whakapāha te whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki kua ngaro, te whakahinuhinu i nga patunga kare-a-roto me te whakahoki i nga hononga,” te kii a Dan Newhart, kaiawhina whanau. "Engari ko te ngakau pono ka kaha ake te tautohetohe." E 11 nga momo o nga mihi penei ka tohua e ia.

1. “E pouri ana ahau ki te…”

Ko te kupu whakaparahako he he, no te mea kare te tangata e kawe i ana kupu me ana mahi, engari ka "whakaaro" noa he mea "ka taea" te tupu.

tauira:

• "E pouri ana ahau mena kua he taku mahi."
• "E pouri ana ahau mena i whakapataritari tera i a koe."

2. “Kae, ka pouri ahau mena ko koe…”

Ko enei kupu ka huri i te he ki runga i te tangata i mate. Ehara i te mea he whakapāha.

• "Kae, ka pouri ahau mena kua he koe."
• "Ae, ka pouri ahau ki te whakaaro koe kua he taku mahi."
• "Ae, ka pouri ahau mena kei te tino pouri koe."

3. “Aroha mai, engari…”

Kare e taea e taua whakapaha me te rahui te whakaora i te mamae o te ngakau i pa mai.

• "E pouri ana ahau, engari ko etahi atu i to waahi kare e kaha te mahi tutu."
• "E pouri ana ahau, ahakoa he maha nga mea ka katakata."
• “E pouri ana ahau, ahakoa nau ano (a) i timata (a).”
• "Aroha mai, kaore au i kaha ki te awhina."
• "E pouri ana ahau, ahakoa he tika ahau i muri i nga mea katoa."
• "Ae, ka pouri ahau kaore au i te tino tika."

4. “Ko au noa…”

He whakapaha whakahaehae tenei. E kii ana te tangata ko nga mea i mahia e ia ki te tukino i a koe he mea kino, he tika ranei.

• "Ae, he katakata noa ahau."
• "I hiahia noa ahau ki te awhina."
• "I hiahia noa ahau ki te whakaahuru i a koe."
• "I hiahia noa ahau ki te whakaatu ki a koe he tirohanga rereke."

5. “Kua whakapāha kē ahau”

Ka whakaitihia e te tangata tana whakapāha ma te kii kua kore e tika.

• “Kua whakapāha kē ahau.”
• "Kua tuku mihi ahau mo tera miriona wa."

6. “E pouri ana ahau mo…”

Ka ngana te kaikorero ki te whakaputa i tana pouri hei whakapaha, i te kore e whakaae ki te kawenga.

• "E pouri ana ahau kei te pouri koe."
• "E pouri ana ahau mo nga hapa i mahia."

7. “E mohio ana ahau ki tera…”

Ka ngana ia ki te whakaiti i te hiranga o tana mahi me te whakatika i a ia ano ma te kore e whakaae ki te kawenga mo te mamae i pa ki a koe.

• "E mohio ana ahau kaore au i pena."
• "E mohio ana ahau me patai ahau ki a koe i te tuatahi."
• "E mohio ana ahau i etahi wa ka rite ahau ki te arewhana i roto i te toa Haina."

Me tetahi atu momo: "E mohio ana koe ko ahau ..."

Ka ngana ia ki te kii karekau he mea hei whakapaha, kia kaua koe e tino pouri.

• "E mohio ana koe kei te pouri ahau."
• "E mohio ana koe kaore au i tino whakaaro."
• "E mohio ana koe e kore ahau e tukino ia koe."

8. “E pouri ana ahau mena ko koe…”

I tenei keehi, ka tono te tangata hara ki a koe kia "utu" tetahi mea mo tana whakaparahako.

• "Ka pouri ahau mena ka pouri koe."
• "Ka mihi ahau ki te oati koe kia kaua e korero ano tenei kaupapa."

9. “Tēnā…”

He tohu whakapāha noa tenei, engari karekau.

• "Tena pea he mihi taku ki a koe."

10. “I kii mai [tetahi] ki ahau kia mihi atu ki a koe”

He whakapāha "tangahi" tenei. Ka tuku whakapāha te tangata hara natemea i tonohia ia, mena kare pea ia e mahi.

• "I kii mai to mama ki ahau kia whakaparahako ki a koe."
• "I kii mai tetahi hoa me mihi au ki a koe."

11. “E pai ana! Aroha mai! Kua makona?”

Ko tenei "whakapaaha" he rite tonu te ahua o te riri ki tona reo.

• “Ae, kaati! Kua whakapāha kē ahau!”
• “Kati te whakararuraru i ahau! I whakapāha ahau!”

He aha te tangi o te whakapāha kakato?

Mena ka tono te tangata mo te murunga pono, ka:

• kare e whakatakoto tikanga me te kore e ngana ki te whakaiti i te hiranga o nga mea i tupu;
• te faaite maitai ra e te taa ra ia ’na i to outou mau mana‘o e te haapeapea ra oia ia outou;
• tino ripeneta;
• ka oati e kore tenei e puta ano;
• mehemea e tika ana, tuku ki te whakatika i te kino i puta.

“Kare he tikanga o te whakaparahako ki te kore tatou e reri ki te whakarongo marie ki te tangata i mate me te mohio ki te mamae i pa mai ki a ia,” e kii ana a Harriet Lerner, te tohunga hinengaro. "Me kite ia kua tino marama tatou ki tenei, he pono to tatou aroha me to tatou ripeneta, he tika tona mamae me tona riri, kua rite tatou ki te mahi i nga mea katoa kia kore ai e puta ano nga mea i tupu." No te aha e rave rahi e tamata nei i te ape i te mau otoheraa haavare ore? Peneia‘e te mana‘o ra ratou e aita ratou i rave i te hoê ohipa ino e te tamata noa nei ratou i te tapea i te hau i roto i te mau taairaa. Peneia‘e e haama ratou e e tamata ratou i te ape i teie mau mana‘o au ore.

“Mehemea kare rawa te tangata e mihi mo ana he me ana mahi he, ka iti ake pea tana kaha ki te aroha, ka pangia ranei e ia he whakaaro iti, he mate tangata ranei,” e kii ana a Dan Newhart. Mena he pai ki te haere tonu ki te korero ki taua tangata ko te kaupapa o te korerorero motuhake.

Mo te Kaituhi: Ko Dan Newhart he kaihaumanu whanau.