Whakaaturanga: "I raru ahau ki te aroha ki taku peepi"

"Kaore au i kaha ki te whakaaro ko au ano he mama, ka kiia e ahau 'te pepi'." Méloée, whaea o te tamaiti 10 marama te pakeke

"Kei te noho manene ahau i Peru me taku tane he Peruvian. I whakaaro ahau he uaua ki te hapu maori na te mea i rongo ahau he mate polycystic ovary syndrome i te 20 oku tau. I te mutunga, ka puta tenei haputanga me te kore e whakamahere. Kare ano au i tino pai ki roto i toku tinana. I pai ahau ki te rongo i ana whiu, ki te kite i taku puku e neke ana. He hapu moemoea pono! He maha nga rangahau i mahia e au mo te whakangote u, te whakakakahu peepi, te moe tahi ... kia pai ai te manaaki me te whangai whaea. I whanau ahau i roto i nga ahuatanga tino kino atu i era e waimarie ana matou ki Parani. E hia rau nga korero kua panuihia e au, i whai i nga karaehe whakarite whanau tamariki, tuhia he mahere whanau ataahua… Na ka huri nga mea katoa i te rerekee o taku i moemoea ai! Kaore i timata te mahi, ka tino mamae te whakauru oxytocin, kaore he epidural. I te tere haeretanga o te whanautanga me te kore e heke mai taku peepi, ka mate matou i te caesarean ohorere. Kare au e maumahara ki tetahi mea, kaore au i rongo, i kite ranei i taku peepi. Ko ahau anake. I oho ahau 2 haora i muri mai ka moe ano ahau mo te 1 haora. Na ka tutaki ahau ki taku peepi 3 haora i muri i taku mahi cesarean. I to ratou tuuraa ia ’na i roto i to ’u rima, no te rohirohi, aita vau i ite i te tahi mea. Tau mahana i muri iho, ua ite oioi au e te tahi mea tei hape. He nui taku tangi. Ko te whakaaro mo te noho mokemoke me tenei iti e tino awangawanga ana ahau. Kaore au i kaha ki te whakaaro he whaea ahau, ki te whakahua i tona ingoa tuatahi, i kii ahau “te pepi”. I te mea he kaiako ako motuhake, i mau ahau i etahi akoranga tino pai mo te herenga whaea.

I mohio ahau me noho tinana ahau, engari i te taha hinengaro hoki mo taku peepi

I mahia e ahau nga mea katoa ki te whawhai ki aku awangawanga me aku awangawanga. Ko te tangata tuatahi i korero ahau ko taku hoa. I mohio ia ki te tautoko i ahau, ki te haere i ahau, ki te awhina i ahau. I korero ano ahau mo taua mea me tetahi hoa tino pai, he kaiwhakawhanau, i mohio ki te whakatata ki a au tenei kaupapa o nga uauatanga o te whaea kaore he tabu, penei i te mea noa. He nui te pai ki ahau! E ono marama pea ka taea e au te korero mo aku raruraru me te kore e whakama, me te kore e hara. Ki taku whakaaro ano he mahi nui te mahi manene: karekau oku whanaunga i te taha o au, karekau he tohu whenua, he tikanga rerekee, karekau he hoa mama hei korero. I tino mokemoke ahau. Ko to maatau hononga ki taku tama kua hangahia i roto i te waa. He iti, he pai ki ahau te mataki i a ia, kia mau ia ki roto i oku ringa, kia kite i a ia e tipu ana. Ma te titiro whakamuri, ki taku whakaaro ko ta matou haerenga ki Parani i te 5 marama i awhina i ahau. Ko te whakauru i taku tama ki aku hoa aroha i harikoa ahau, i whakahīhī ai. Kaore au i rongo noa "Méloée te tamahine, te tuahine, te hoa", engari "Méloée te whaea". I tenei ra ko te aroha iti o toku ora. “

"Kua huna e ahau oku karekau." Fabienne, 32, whaea o te kotiro 3-tau.

"I te 28, i whakakake ahau, i koa ahau ki te whakapuaki i taku haputanga ki taku hoa e hiahia ana ki te tamaiti. Ko ahau, i tera wa, kaore rawa. I tuku ahau na te mea i whakaaro ahau kare rawa ahau e paato. I pai te haere o te haputanga. I aro ahau ki te whakawhānau. I hiahia ahau he mea maori, i roto i te whare whanau. I haere nga mea katoa i runga i taku i hiahia ai, i te nuinga o nga mahi i te kainga. I tino marie ahau ka tae ahau ki te whare whanau 20 meneti noa i mua i te whanautanga o taku tamahine! I te wa i utaina ai ki runga i ahau, ka kite ahau i tetahi ahuatanga rereke e kiia nei ko te wehewehe. Ehara i te mea ko ahau tonu i haere i tenei wa. I aro nui ahau ki te whakawhānau, kua wareware ahau me tiaki e au he pēpi. I te ngana ahau ki te u, a, i te mea kua korerotia mai ki ahau he uaua nga timatanga, i whakaaro ahau he mea noa. I roto ahau i te hau. Inaa, kare au i pai ki te tiaki. I rite ahau ki te huna i aku karekau. Kare au i pai ki te tata tinana ki te peepi, kaore au i pai ki te mau, ki te mahi kiri ki te kiri. Heoi he pepi "ngawari" ia e moe nui ana. I taku taenga ki te kainga e tangi ana ahau, engari i whakaaro ahau ko te peepi kahurangi. E toru nga ra i mua i te mahi ano a taku hoa, kua kore ahau e moe. I mahara ahau kei te wiri ahau.

Ko ahau i roto i te āhua o te hypervigilance. Kore rawa i whakaaro mo ahau anake me taku peepi.

I waea atu ahau ki toku whaea mo te awhina. I tana taenga mai, ka kii mai ia kia haere ahau ki te okioki. I kati ahau i roto i taku ruma ki te tangi i te ra katoa. I te ahiahi, he tino awangawanga ahau ki te whakaeke. I rakurakuhia e ahau toku mata me te karanga, "Kei te pirangi ahau ki te haere", "Kei te pirangi au kia tangohia". I mohio taku mama me taku hoa he tino kino ahau. I te ra i muri mai, ma te awhina a taku kaiwhakawhanau, i tiakihia ahau i roto i te whare whaea-tamaiti. I mau tonu ahau ki te hohipera mo nga marama e rua, i te mutunga ka ora ahau. Me tiaki noa ahau. I whakamutua e ahau te u, na te mea i pai ahau. Kua kore ahau i te awangawanga mo te tiaki i taku peepi ko au anake. Ko nga awheawhe rongoa toi i taea e au te hono ano ki taku taha auaha. I taku hokinga mai, he pai ake taku noho, engari kare ano i mau i a au tenei here korekore. Ahakoa i tenei ra, he rangirua taku hononga ki taku tamahine. He uaua ki a au te wehe atu i a ia engari kei te hiahia ahau. Kare au e kite i tenei aroha nui e pehi ana i a koe, engari he rite tonu ki nga uira iti: ka kata ahau ki a ia, ka mahi tahi maua. I a ia e pakeke haere ana, me iti ake te piri ki te taha tinana, ko ahau tenei e rapu ake ana i ana awhi! Ko te ahua kei te mahi au i te huarahi whakamuri. Ki taku whakaaro ko te noho whaea he haerenga oranga. O te hunga e huri ana i a koe ake ake. “

"I riri ahau ki taku peepi mo te mamae o te cesarean." Johanna, 26, tokorua nga tamariki 2 me te 15 marama.

"I te taha o taku tane, i whakatau maatau kia whanau wawe nga tamariki. I taumau maua me te marena i etahi marama i muri i to maua tutakitanga me te whakatau kia whanau he peepi i te 22 o oku tau. I tino pai taku haputanga. I paahitia e ahau te waahi. I roto i te whare haumanu motuhake i noho ahau, ka tono ahau kia whakaohohia. Kare au i mohio he maha nga wa ka puta he mahi cesarean te whakaurunga. I whakawhirinaki ahau ki te taote wahine no te mea i whanau ia i taku whaea i te tekau tau ki mua. I tana korerotanga mai he raruraru, kei te mamae te peepi, ka kite ahau i taku tane kua ma. I korero ahau ki a au ano me noho marino ahau, hei whakapumau i a ia. I roto i te rūma, karekau au i whakawhiwhia ki te rewharewha. Ranei, karekau i mahi. Kaore au i rongo i te tapahi o te scalpel, i tetahi atu taha ka mahara ahau kua rawekehia oku whekau. Ko te mamae ka tangi ahau. I inoi ahau kia whakahokia mai ki te moe, whakahokia ki te rongoa whakamomori. I te mutunga o te mahi cesarean, ka hoatu e ahau he kihi iti ki te tamaiti, ehara i te mea i hiahia ahau, engari no te mea noa i kii ahau kia kihi ia ia. Na ka "mawehe" ahau. I whakamoea katoatia ahau na te mea i oho roa ahau i roto i te ruma whakaora. I kite ahau i taku tane i te taha o te peepi, engari kaore au i te rere o te aroha. I ngenge noa ahau, i pirangi ahau ki te moe. I kite ahau i taku tahu i neke, engari he nui rawa atu au i roto i nga mea i pa ki ahau. I te ra i muri mai, ka pirangi ahau ki te mahi awhina tuatahi, te kaukau, ahakoa te mamae o te cesarean. I kii ahau ki a au ano: “Ko koe te mama, me tiaki e koe”. Kare au i pirangi ki te noho wahine. Mai i te po tuatahi, he kino te mate o te peepi. Karekau he tangata i pirangi ki te kawe ia ia ki te whare kohungahunga mo nga po tuatahi e toru kare au i moe. Ka hoki ki te kainga, ka tangi ahau i nga po katoa. Kua hoha taku tane.

I nga wa katoa ka tangi taku pepe, ka tangi ahau ki a ia. I tiaki pai ahau, engari karekau ahau i rongo i te aroha.

Ko nga ahua o te Hiharean i hoki mai ki ahau i nga wa katoa e tangi ana ia. I muri i te marama me te hawhe, ka korerorero ahau me taku tane. Ka moe maua ka whakamarama atu ahau ki a ia kei te riri ahau ki ta maua tama mo tenei cesarean, kei te mamae ahau i nga wa katoa e tangi ana ia. A, i muri tonu mai o taua korero, i taua po, he makutu, he ahua rite ki te whakatuwhera i te pukapuka korero me te aniwaniwa e mawhiti mai ana. Na te korero i mawhiti ahau i te taumahatanga. I taua po i moe pai ahau. A i te ata, i te mutunga ka rongo ahau i te tino kaha o te aroha ki taku tamaiti. I mahia ohorere te hononga. Mo te tuarua, i te wa i whanau ai ahau i roto i te kopu, ko te whakaoranga i puta mai te aroha. Ahakoa he pai ake te whanau tuarua i te tuatahi, ki taku whakaaro me kaua rawa e whakataurite. I runga ake i nga mea katoa, kaua e pouri. Me mahara koe he rereke nga whanau katoa, he rereke nga peepi katoa. “